Family

It's interesting when you think that you have finally made the baby steps to reconnect with your family again, how quickly they give in then give up. At this point I felt like I was able to maybe, just maybe, begin to immerse myself back into my family. Now granted I wasn't completely sure I should be doing so. Regardless I went ahead and made the first move. My baby steps were consoling. I was able to sleep at night knowing that I was starting to become a more well rounded person, thinking that maybe 2010 would be my year to shine with my family again. First I reconnected with my brother, who entertained the idea until my mom got involved, after which he dropped me like a hot potato, only to contact me through a friend of his for an ipod. How disappointing. I ended up talking to my mother, which was literally a tongue lashing of massive proportions. Our conversation was about how my ex husband was so much better than me based on the sole fact that he was rich. News-flash, he is rich because of me, not only did he use my credit to build his business, he used me as a way of staying in this country. Fuck him. And mom I love you to death, but you need to get over your self proclaimed fact of money = happiness, because it doesn't. Facebook was starting to seem more and more of an excuse to talk to family. I was able to contact a lot of my really close cousins. I was on cloud nine. Until now. It seemed a little weird to me that they would befriend me and not try to contact me otherwise. I mean my phone number, my email address, and my facebook profile were all ready to receive communication, but none seemed to come through. I shrugged it off as perhaps they just didn't know or care to use these modern communication techniques. So tonight I log in to facebook to begin my normal ritual of "cafe world" and digging through mutual friends of my family only to discover one of my nearest and dearest cousins no longer wants anything to do with me. She made it very clear by simply de-friending me. Well fuck you and the horse you rode in on. If any of this alienation is because of me leaving my ex husband, well you have to get over yourself. No one cares anymore. It's just so disappointing that the one person you thought would be the most mature about the situation has turned into a backwards thinking half wit, without an ounce of maturity. Give in then give up? I give up. It obviously wasn't a good idea to begin with. I guess I am immature to think that people get over things, better yet get over themselves. Naivety has proven to be my downfall.